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Ness vs. Twilight Sparkle Prelude

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Homura: Mindpower - a force which is difficult to use, but is easily one of the most powerful.

Deadpool: Keyword: "One of"!  Deadpool's still the most powerful!

Lloyd: And oh man, the combatants we're using today live for mindpower!  Like Ness, the PSI-using hero kid-

Deadpool: And Twilight Sparkle, the oversexualized magic pony.

Homura: Please don't bring that up, Deadpool.

Lloyd: I'm Lloyd, she's Homura, he's Deadpool, and he's V!

V-Create: Darn it Lloyd I'm not a host!

Homura: It is our job to analyze these two to see who would win in a battle to the death.

=============================

Ness' Analysis:

Deadpool: *Doing a movie announcer voice* Once upon a time, not so long ago, in the mysterious land... of Onett, Eagleland.  Ness was dating a high-schooler.  *Regular voice* Oh wait, that's Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.  Anyway, this totally lame kid Ness was just sleeping and stuff when a meteor crashed by his house.

Homura: Ness was confronted by a bee named Buzz Buzz, who told him that he was destined for a big adventure and that he'd team up with a group of two other boys and a girl.

Lloyd: Wait, but what is Buzz Buzz?  And how does it talk?

Deadpool: I think Ness can talk to animals, remember?

Lloyd: But Pokey heard him too!  How do you explain that?

Deadpool: *flips a desk* I don't know!

Homura: Ness then embarked on a big adventure to collect the Eight Melodies from Eight "Your Sanctuary" locations, which involved fighting big Eldritch Abominations.  He used something called the Sound Stone for this.

Deadpool: But the Sound Stone is just a rock!  How the chimichangas does it record music?!

Lloyd: I don't know!

Homura: *clearly getting irritated* Along the way, Ness met a PSI user named Paula, a genius named Jeff, and a prince named Poo.

Deadpool: Ha!  You said "Poo!"  Wait, why is his name "Poo"?

Lloyd: He's Asian, that's why.

Deadpool: But why would his name be "Poo"?!  This game was Americanized!

Lloyd: I don't know!

Homura: Stop it you two!  Anyway, when Ness finally got all Eight Melodies, he entered an entirely new world called Magicant.  This world was nothing more than Ness' astral world, where he had to face a malevolent entity known as Ness' Nightmare.

Lloyd: And then things get really weird.  After that, Ness and his friends put their brains into robots and went back in time to fight a reality-bending threat, Giygas.

Deadpool: B-but they don't have healing factors!  If they removed their brains, they'd be completely dead!  How does that work?!

Lloyd: *Sigh* I don't know!

Homura: Ugh, no one knows.  Anyway, Ness may look like a regular kid, but in reality he is a true powerhouse.  In-game, he is the second-strongest, the most defensive, and the bravest.  Ness also has access to a mindpower called PSI, or psionics, or in Japan, PK, or psychokinesis.

Deadpool: This is my favorite part.  Ness has several different PSI abilities, such as force fields that protect from physical attacks, force fields that protect from PSI attacks,, PSI that raises his offensive and defensive abilities, PSI that can stun opponents, and my favorite, Lifeup, which is almost like a Healing Factor!

Lloyd: Then there's PK Fire and Thunder and-

Homura: Those are from Smash Bros.; he doesn't actually learn them.  Instead, he also has Healing, which cures him of any negative physical condition, as well as PK Teleport, which requires him to run so quickly that he teleports.

Lloyd: How fast does he run, exactly?

Deadpool: I don't know, but if he fails, then he looks like he just got burned.

Homura: So he can run so fast, that he combusts.  With the help of PSI that is.  There's also PK Flash, which is a bright flash of light with unpredictable effects ranging from causing the opponent to cry uncontrollably to - in some cases - even cause instant death.

Lloyd: But how does a flash of light kill you?

Deadpool: *Reading a book* This book doesn't have any answers... *Throws it away angrily* I don't know!

Homura: But his trump card is PK Rockin', which is basically a huge PSI explosion that at the very least causes massive damage to everything around him.  But his PSI has a limit, meaning that if he uses a lot of PSI in one battle he can run out.  It doesn't help that PK Rockin' uses up huge amounts of his PSI at hand.

Lloyd: Fortunately for Ness, he hardly needs it.  Ness is strong enough to damage diamond using a baseball bat and his own strength, durable enough to tank nuclear explosions, smart enough to solve complex puzzles in such a quirky game that relies on Insane Troll Logic, and that's not even counting everything else he carries with him!

Deadpool: Ness also carries around a little badge called the Franklin Badge that reflects lightning!  And, you know, any other energy-based projectile.

Homura: Again, that last part is only in Smash Brothers.  Ness also has a variety of pendants which can protect him from many different elemental powers and techniques.  Finally, thanks to Ness' "guts" stat, Ness can actually survive attacks that would otherwise be fatal to him.

Lloyd: And all this... because he's brave?  How does this work?

Deadpool: Maybe it's because-

Homura: Ugh, neither of you know!  Ness has accomplished many, many different near-impossible things.  He's defeated eight Eldritch Abominations that guarded the eight "Your Sanctuary" locations, reformed a local gang and a cult, survived the Eldritch Location that is Moonside, taken down an underground alien base, survived having his brain removed from his body, defeated his own nightmares using astral projection, and even taken down the reality-warping Giygas.

Lloyd: Huh.  This Ness kid sounds pretty powerful.

Deadpool: Maybe he's not so lame.

Homura: Unfortunately for Ness, he's not completely unstoppable.  Ness is rather slow without the help of PSI, and moreover his PSI limit is rather low compared to the likes of, say, Paula and Poo.  Finally, Ness' biggest weakness is his homesickness.  Ness will occasionally miss home in the midst of a battle, and during this time he will often stop what he's doing in order to reminisce.  Even if he's fighting a Nuclear Reactor Robot.  The only way to cure this?  For him to call his mother.

Lloyd: That's actually kinda lame.

Deadpool: Talk about a Weaksauce Weakness.

Homura: Still, Ness is quite the powerful force.  He may just have what it takes to pull victory.

Ness: Okay!

=========================

Twilight's analysis:

Deadpool: A long, long time ago, in Ponyville, far away...  PONY WARS: EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE PEGASI Oh wait that's Star Wars.  Anyway, this kinda lame pony named Twilight Sparkle was just reading her books when she learned about some evil horse named Night Mare Moon coming back and causing eternal darkness or some crap like that.

Lloyd: Twilight had to go to Ponyville in order to make sure the Summer Sun Celebration went perfectly.  It was about to, until the unthinkable happened:  Night Mare Moon returned, and caused... eternal darkness.

Homura: One thing that Princess Celestia, Twilight's mentor, told her was to make some friends.  Twilight thought that she didn't have time for such things, but when darkness fell upon them, she had no choice.  She and her friends learned about the six Elements of Harmony, and Twilight soon discovered that she and her friends embodied these elements perfectly.  Twilight was the Element of Magic.

Lloyd: Then Twilight and her friends defeated Night Mare Moon using the Elements of Harmony, and in turn restored Equestria.  Since then, Twilight's been focusing on trying to be a better friend.

Deadpool: Oh come on!  That's the second-worst story ever!  But at least this one kinda makes sense.

Homura: Twilight is easily one of the greatest magic users in all of Equestria.  She spends a lot of her time practicing magic and reading up on spells, and she even looks up to one of the greatest magic users of all time, Starswirl the Bearded.  Among Twilight's camaraderie of magic are the ability to make someone's hair grow uncontrollably, the ability to take control of something sort of like telepathy, magic shields, the ability to turn any object into an orange, teleportation of herself or anything around her, very brief time-travel, the ability to walk on clouds, the ability to reverse gravity, magic lasers, the ability to rewrite time and space completely, the ability to transform into a bug-like creature called a "Breezie", the ability to freeze up to four living beings in place even in mid-air, and finally the ability to replicate other magic spells.

Lloyd: Wow, that's a lot of magic there.  Twilight is also extremely smart, knowing everything there is to know about just about everything from history to math to science to literature to language.  If there's anything she doesn't know about, she can easily just pick up a book about it and become a genius in just a few hours.  She's a jack-of-all-trades if there ever was one.

Deadpool: Not only that, but she's also an Alicorn now!  This means that she has qualities of unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies!  While she's a bit outclassed by the expert flier Rainbow Dash in terms of flight ability, she's still pretty damn good at flying.  She's also a very fast runner, and cartoon physics have allowed her to take punishment beyond what you thought was possible!

Homura: Twilight is resourceful and very used to thinking of unconventional ideas on the fly.  Combined with her vast knowledge of almost every possible conceivable subject, Twilight is truly a force to be reckoned with.

Lloyd: I'm not a brony or anything, but MAN she sounds powerful!

Deadpool: Wait!  Do her next!  Tell us about her shortcomings!

Homura: Feats first, Deadpool.  Twilight has defeated the rogue Alicorn Night Mare Moon, calmed down a powerful Ursa Minor, got fifth place in a race, traveled to the Underworld and back with only a paper cut, defeated the chaotic and unpredictable... and actually VERY Deadpool-esque Discord, defeated an entire army of Changelings, saved the Crystal Empire from the evil King Sombra, rewrote time and space by creating an entirely new magic spell and becoming an Alicorn, and finally, saved Equestria from the evil Lord Tirek.

Deadpool: Now shortcomings?

Lloyd: Twilight may have all these great things going for her, but in the end even she has shortcomings.  First off, she is very prone to panic and will lose it if a plan of hers goes unsuccessfully.  Also, she's not used to physical activity and will often tire out if she puts in too much force.  Her self-confidence is also rather low and she doesn't take too well to failure.  Finally, her strongest magic spells require a lot of concentration which can easily be broken.

Homura: But if you underestimate Twilight for even a minute, then you may be in for an absolute nightmare.

Twilight: As princess, I believe I have the power to spread the magic of friendship across Equestria! That is the role I am meant to have in our world! The role I choose to have! But I didn't defeat Tirek on my own. It took all of us to unlock the chest!

===========================

Deadpool: If you thought that it was time for a battle, you're wrong!  Because this is a prelude!  If you didn't catch that by the title, then why the crap are you here?

Lloyd: We'll get to the battle next time!  Right V?

V-Create: Please stop with that.

Homura: V, you're the one who writes this.  You should get to work.  Stop with your pointless crush on Sayaka already.

V-Create: Oh my- stop!  Just because Sayaka is my waifu doesn't mean that my crush on her is that pointless!  Whatever, I'm leaving.  *Grabs fedora off the wall, puts it on, and leaves*

Deadpool: He wears a fedora?

Lloyd: I didn't know that.

Deadpool: From here on out, V, you are called Fedora-Wearing Douchebag!

Fedora-Wearing Douchebag: *Comes back* Oh I forgot- hey change my name back!

Lloyd: Well... we'll see you guys next time!
Man, sorry about the delay.  It's been a while since I've done this.  Anyway, now that's out of the way and we can get to the battle next time!

Also if you haven't yet, remember to re-read Palutena vs. Madoka, because I've edited the battle to make it fit my current writing style.

Thanks to AngelicPaladin, who made this preview image!

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.

Lloyd Irving is © Namco Bandai.
Homura Akemi and Sayaka Miki (Doesn't appear at all, just mentioned.  Also my waifu, hands off CURSE YOU! ) are © SHAFT, Gen Urobochi, Akiyuki Shinbo, and Aniplex USA.
Deadpool is © Marvel and Disney.
I am not cool enough to be copyrighted.
Ness is © Nintendo.
Twilight Sparkle is © Hasbro.
© 2015 - 2024 V-Create
Comments2
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Werewolf-Korra's avatar
Oh sweet Christ on a Bike, I finally found someone who knows Ness well enough for a DeathBattle.

I wanna do Ness vs Douchebag (from South Park: Stick of Truth), care to colab?